Los Angeles Parking Bureau is (surprise) totally borked

The street I live on just became a permit only parking district, despite there being no parking shortage in Silverlake and three citizen hearings in which no one (except city bureaucrats) wanted to add parking restrictions. So I spent this morning at the idiotic Los Angeles Parking Bureau.

I tried my darndest to learn as much as possible before taking time off work to travel downtown and get a parking permit for my neighborhood. The fact that I had to do this in person instead of via phone, email, fax, mail or any other method was bad enough but when I arrived the comedy of errors was only just beginning.

Maybe my first clue should have been this page, giving directions to the parking bureau in which they misspell their own address. Or when I tried to follow these directions and realized they were incorrect. But what was so frustrating was the fact that this misleading info had me wasting my time, with no parking pass to show for it. The desk agents claimed that their printed rules stated things they clearly did not, either online or in the posted versions in the office. If you visit this circle of hell, be sure to bring cash (I had to use the liquor store's ATM down the street.) On and on it continued like this.

No wonder, these offices had ARMED security guards, they seem to be inviting conflict with this horrible, frustrating standard. Pretty much every other customer around me seemed to be yelling. The sad thing is I tried really hard, for days, to prepare for this. But their online info is so inaccurate it was impossible for me to do what I set out to accomplish. Gotta love the Netscape icon they chose for their address bar though. (For our readers not on on Social Security, Netscape was a popular web browser from the last century.)

Carolee Schneeman

Last night I went to "REDCAT" to see filmmaker Carolee Schneeman. It has been years since I've seen her work and I've never actually seen her in person. She showed 3 older films and 2 more recent works. My favorite film of hers is, of course, FUSES from 1967. It's amazing to me that I never get bored or anxious watching this half hour long silent experimental film. Possibly because most of the content is borderline pornographic. The film is one of those things that are so brilliant they seem almost obvious to attempt in retrospect. Painting on the film and layering in many other frenetic visual elements, there is an energy force being pushed between the two lovers and then pushed from the subjects onto the audience. It's a wholly unique film experience, seeing FUSES. The artist conveys a primordial mode of consciousness and in doing so expresses a inclusive and plural sexuality. It's a groundbreaking work and required viewing for anyone wishing to go further in erotic cinema.

Free screening this weekend

Cinevegas is hosting a free screening at Beauty Bar this weekend of the much buzzed about (sorry) documentary SUPER HIGH ME. The film chronicles comedian Doug Benson's attempt to go 30 days without pot and chronicle the health effect. Benson then goes 30 days smoking weed every day and chronicles (again, sorry) those effects. Looks like fun and it's free!

Also this weekend don't forget to check out Chris Merrill's play. Starring Mary Elizabeth Ellis and Cy Carter, insanity is pretty much assured.

Zach Galifinackis at Largo last night

Zach had a great set at Largo last night. One highlight was one of the openers Nick Kroll who you might know as one of the stars from the short lived TV series Cavemen. (Tom and I loved this show!) He's pretty great, I might start following his shows too.

Zach was solid as always. Probably my fave line that I remember (drinks minimum became a maximum) was "Is it a sexual innuendo if a tell a woman I want to put my sexual in your endo?"

The real highlight though was when he pulled a group of strangers off the street and onto the stage. I had heard of him doing this before but never seen it myself. The "deer in the headlights" moment of realizing you are being thrust onto a stage was priceless. I also enjoyed when one of the girls told Zach that she knew who he was, his response: "you are gonna finger yourself when you get home tonight." Then they did a shot of tequila together on the stage, had a few more laughs and called it a night.

Transmogrification theatre

Check this out. First off David Cronenberg recently announced that he is creating a musical version of his 1986 film THE FLY for the stage. (Insane.) Then today George Romero says in an interview that he wants to remake the 1982 version of THE THING into a play as well! Here is a quote from Romero:

"I’d love to freeze the whole audience - first of all, we’d have to chill the whole theatre down to some sub-zero temperature.”

That sounds well, crazy but I'm on board. And Cronenberg's FLY is one of those movies that I never get sick of watching or talking about. I'm simply in awe of how great it is. The gooey tactile effects... the casting of Goldblum... brilliant. The musical comes to Los Angeles in September and you better believe I'm there!

Lunch with the time travelers

Yesterday I had lunch with three guys from the Echo Park Time Travel Mart. We talked a lot about the Terminator show, David Foster Wallace's essay about The Terminator, Somewhere in Time, Lost and a bunch of other fun stuff. Fun joking about paradoxes, murder bots and comic books.

I wish I could have lunches like that everyday, maybe I should visit Brooklyn just to befriend the guys at the Superhero supply shop!

Bukowski's grave

With the recent news that Bukowski's old bungalow is going to be designated a historical monument, it's time to celebrate (drink.) I really want to go visit Bukowski's grave, it sounds like a fun daytime (drinking) activity. Who's with me?

Pirate Cat Radio

One of my favorite things about Los Angeles when I first moved here was at the bottom of the FM dial. Pirate Cat Radio was a pirate radio station run by one guy who called himself Monkey Man. Monkey Man never really spoke on air, just identified himself in weird promos. He's broadcast music 24/7 from his garage and I loved it. Besides the romance of outlaw radio, the music he played was eclectic, obsessive and great. Sometimes he'd leave the house for hours and just have a six-disc changer on random. But even that selection of music was so fun I'd continue listening all night. It was one of those well known secrets that can make a big city feel cozy, and he won Best Radio Show from LA Weekly in 2002. Monkey Man moved away from Los Angeles so the station went dark, but there are rumors that he's moved back and should start broadcasting soon. I sincerely hope so, long live Pirate Cat.

Bukowski's old place to be a historical monument

Not everyone is a fan of Charles Bukowski. Especially among Los Angelenoes there is a bit of a backlash for sure. But I'm a big poetry fan and you have to admit his poetry writing is unique and honest. My favorite novel of his is Post Office, his first. In the news this week is this story about efforts to have the Hollywood Bungalow where he wrote Post Office preserved as a historical monument. I can't tell from the news story where exactly this place is but as soon as I find out let's go have some drinks nearby!

We visited The Bunny Museum

Susan and I went to The Bunny Museum in Pasadena this weekend. It was fun and she got to pet some cute bunnies. I think the statement on their website that you should plan on spending an hour there was a bit of an overestimation. Here is another pic of me appreciating the "garden of broken dreams." (Their term not mine.)

Why you never need to order Pizza Hut in Los Angeles

The first reason is here, Casa Bianca. It's a little farther away from me than these other places, and there is always a wait to get a table but it's absolutely fucking worth it. My friend Micheal Bodie referes to this as the crack cocaine of pizza. He is right.

If I could marry a pizzeria I'd probably pop the question to Il Capricio on Vermont. In the months leading up to this place's opening it was a source of constant excitement. The day it first opened was like a beautiful dream. In an alternate universe, this place and Secret Headquarters are right next to each other and I'm in fucking heaven.

Next up is Village Pizzeria on Larchmont which I don't get to very often because I rarely venture outside of Silverlake. But I gotta mention it because I love how their Meatball pizzas come out, they slice the meatballs into delicious discs with crispy edges, yum!

Also I should mention Nicky D's which is a decent pie but I like it better for a dine out that a delivery, doesn't travel as great as some of these others. Maybe that's just the one time I ordered a large clam pizza by myself. A mistake.

Remember, don't get tempted by super bowl ads, there's never a reason to call pizza hut. And if you ever are considering Domino's remember it was founded by an evangelical Christian so every dollar you are giving them goes to supporting Pro Life and the banning of contraception. Enjoy!

Hipster clothing models

I went to Barney's Beanery last night and someone told me that my buddy Duncan is the hoodie model on their website. Too good to believe but the proof is right in front of you. Unfortunately Barney's site is a big flash mess so I can't link to anything but their main page, but if you want to dig in there yourself, it's in there.

Another great group of t-shirt models can be found at the site for eEvil Ink Design. Check out this guy! They have some really cool shirts there, spend some time poking around the site.

The Best Pub Trivia in Los Angeles

Is Booze Clues! (Also the funniest name for a pub trivia evar.) It's run by my friend Dave who is the perfect mix of smart and fun for a trivia quiz. I even got to guest host one night, read the nice things Dave said about my stint here. And, super bonus mega linking, check out this LA Weekly article about the pub quiz! I know all the people in those pictures! And they all cheat.

2001 screening in 70mm!

This is one of the most astonishing films of all time IMHO. It's incredible to think that this film was finished a full year before man walked on the moon, the whole design still looks so advanced, so futuristic, its incredible.

The news I have is that Arclight is having a rare screening of a 70mm print of 2001 A SPACE ODDESSY in the Cinerama dome. ( Check out that original poster!) A little birdy told me that tickets are almost sold out, so act fast. If there is one film I'd want to see on 70mm more than any other it's this.

Ricky Gervais at the Kodak Theatre!!!!

My brother and I set the alarm and hopped on ticketmaster as soon as tickets went on sale for Ricky Gervais Live at the Kodak Theatre. I'm a huge fan but my brother is a full on obsessive, owning 37 hours of the Ricky Gervais show podcasts. His knowledge of all things Ricky is borderline scary. It's going to be a fun night, if anyone wants to come along I've got a few extra tix!

Los Angeles’ latest and possibly greatest screening series: The Cinefamily

In the wind up to AFI FEST I missed out completely on the opening of this new screening series in Los Angeles. I’m still learning more and more about it but the more I hear, the better this sounds. I first became intrigued with the Cinefamily when I learned that Mike Plante my old coworker was promoting this. (Be sure to click that last link!) His sensibilities in film programming are pretty much dead-on and any culture steering he does I follow gladly. The founder of Cinefile Hadrian Belove is running the Cinefamily and I’ve long felt that Cinefile is one of the best reasons to live in Los Angeles period. As soon as I get back into town this is my top priority.

Time Travel Mart opens in Echo Park

My buddy Jon Korn just helped open this convenience store for time travelers in my neighborhood. I haven't had a chance to check it out yet myself but I can't wait! If you want a little taste, here is an exclusive private video sneak peek. It's now open for business so go check it out!